The Circle of Affirmation

Upward Basketball is for kids, but it also trains parents. On the first night of practice, the coaches gathered us around and taught us about the 'Circle of Affirmation' as opposed to the 'Circle of Criticism.' In Upward, we cheer for everyone who does something well, regardless of whose team they are on. Refs and coaches all volunteer their time, so they are encouraged and lifted up, not yelled at and criticized. There's competition, but if one team has too few players, someone volunteers from the opposition to 'switch sides' for that one game, so everyone can play.

Bobby Knight would not be pleased, I am sure, but it seems to me a good way to do life (which, in my opinion, is the only real reason to have basketball in the church).

Upward parents are instructed to operate out of the Circle of Affirmation in games. Isn't that a great place to be in life? That doesn't mean being dishonest or dishing out false flattery. In fact, to avoid being critical, it would be important to go directly to the person I have a problem with and deal with any conflict, rather than criticize them (often to others).

Life in the Circle of Affirmation is not some fakey positive thinking that disregards the reality of the world. No matter how encouraging I am, or how I refrain from criticism, bad things will still happen and there will still be conflict. But really, how much criticism is really needed in the world? Most of the time, criticism is an attempt to control what's not really mine to control. Justice is good, but how often, really, do the words of judgment or criticism I offer actually do justice? Not very. This is a very light way to live, letting go of trying to control or manage others, trusting God to work and 'fix' things, rather than thinking I need to make it all well.

I'm living in the Circle of Affirmation. That will require extraordinary amounts of prayer, I am sure, both for strength to live there and to confess when I step outside the bounds. So I will pray, but not only for me. I want my home, the church I serve, the school where I tutor and my kids attend, all of it, to be in my Circle of Affirmation. Even if others live in a different circle.

I'm excited - it is a beautiful place to live.