Not Lost After All

Sometimes, life feels like the wilderness. Something ends - a job, a relationship, a life - and we're left in a transition we did not choose. We're not sure where we are, with no clear sign where God is leading. I tend to feel anxious at such times. I envy Israel being able to see God's presence in the pillars of fire and cloud.

It reminded me, though, of one night last year. Maia and I had to go out to an area Christian school to rescue a friend whose car had broken down. I had seen the school dozens of times from the four-lane highway, but had never pondered how to actually get there. Maia looked up the address, which was sort of helpful but not clear. The computer was down so there was no Mapquest to give us directions to the door. With a mind set on prayer (desperation will do that to me), we got in the car.

We set out in the general direction of the school. I couldn't quite visualize which exit to take off the highway. Looking at the address again, I made a choice, and turned onto another highway. As we motored down the road, I second-guessed my decision. What if I should have turned right instead of left at the end of the exit ramp? What if I should have taken the 3rd exit rather than the 2nd?

Just then, a picture of the turn to an acquaintance's house flashed through my mind. I could see that turn-off, which I had only taken once. A road off to the right reminded me of that back way, and without thinking twice, I took it. We wound around in the dark, with no opportunities to turn off or turn around. Then a glow of light ahead in the night indicated we were coming close to something big. Was it a miracle that the road taken by chance led right to the school parking lot, where my friend waited for us to rescue her? I praised and thanked God for getting us there.

Some would say it was dumb luck. For all I know, they are right. Not every flash of insight leads us in the right direction. There were other ways we could have chosen to go. We might have had to stop and ask directions, or turn around. The moment I swerved to take that last road was not planned. I did not know when I turned that it was the exact path I needed to be on. In fact, as I looked ahead at first, it seemed it could have been a dead end or just lead in circles. I didn't know it was right until I got there.

Still, it turned out to be exactly the path we needed. It led to where we had to go, even though we didn't really know it would until we were almost in the parking lot.

"Trust the path," says Robert Morris in his book, Provocative Grace. In the midst of wilderness wandering, in transitional times when the future is unclear, it is possible to find peace in the assurance that the path will lead us where we are supposed to be. We had asked for God's direction before we even got in the car. Why was I so surprised that the Spirit gave us the gift of guidance?

I am sure I will doubt again. I seek to be a non-anxious presence, but sometimes I worry anyway. More often than not, though, I end up exactly where I am supposed to be.